Spiritual Ascension & Integration

8 Guideposts to Transcend Fear

I’m sitting in the sun.

Scott is playing his guitar downstairs.

We’re all here but in our own space.

The 3 of us are introverts at heart; Noah taught us how to be alone and be home at the same time.

So much wisdom I am finding in my heart the last few days.

Pandemic has arrived.

Corona virus is in everyone’s thoughts.

Social distancing is a thing.

I have no fear of this, well, maybe a little…

You see, we already faced our own personal, end-of-world crisis when Noah was sick. Self-containment, terror, losing our social lives, becoming isolated, facing unimaginable loss and having our foundation ripped out from beneath us – these are things we are very familiar with.

But we survived.

And now we have coping skills and resilience that we never could have envisioned.

Not to diminish the loss or the pain.

I have lived it.

Every day, I have lived it.

But here’s the thing. We made it through; many other families have made it through their own personal tragedies and you can too.

No matter what happens to us.

Around us.

We’re all going to be okay.

And that’s not just me spouting ideals. Because you know I have faced the worst scenario ever – loss of a child.

And I’m okay.

I’ve had many realizations on this path. The biggest is that the very pattern of life is change, nothing stands still; everything continues to evolve - no matter what. People may leave or possibly die and circumstances will eventually change because no “thing” is permanent.

I don’t say this to be harsh or negative but rather to help you understand that there is a purpose to finding our true spiritual essence so that we can hold onto this truth when times get tough. As my world was rocked to its very core in losing my son, I searched for an anchor that would help me survive the dangerous currents of fear and suffering.

This very much mirrors the integration period we all face as truths are revealed in the ascension process. As we face new realities and shadows within. As we unearth new awareness, it becomes crucial to integrate it with compassion and forgiveness. For ourselves and everyone connected with us.

Enter the period of the dark night of the soul. Discomfort. Integration has begun. This is a crucial yet not so pleasant aspect of ascension. We examine the light and the dark. The key here is to allow this process to unfold without judgement. To let our deepest fears, insecurities, longings, guilt, shame, turmoil be witnessed in compassion and forgiveness.

In my quest to find Noah, I realized that what I searched for was already deep within me; it was up to me to access and reveal it. I believe, a key ingredient to accessing a peaceful life, is for each of us to do this inner soul work.

It is simultaneously our greatest challenge and biggest reward.

How did I find this connection?

 

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8 Guideposts

Here are some of the factors that nurtured this process and helped me during this period of Integration & Beyond:

1. Finding a center of calm inside myself in the eye of the storm. During my son’s illness, we spent days, weeks and months in the hospital. The world of childhood cancer is fraught with twists and turns – it’s an emotional roller-coaster! Over the years I’ve spent many long hours waiting. Waiting for tests, treatments or just waiting with my son in hospital as he endured weekly stays to be monitored during harsh treatments and their side effects. Gradually, I learned the skill of being able to sit patiently and quiet my thoughts; I was able to be present in the moment for hours at a time. This takes practice and a commitment to honouring the space inside without judgement. Be gentle with yourself as you practice this skill.

2. Writing my feelings in a journal. It is very cathartic to write; the process helps release pent up emotions and helps to rewire and purge repetitive mental patterns which contribute to our suffering. Story is also a way to document precious memories of loved ones or even our own journey as we evolve. In my case, I discovered a love of sharing and writing which I never imagined possible. When I wrote my unfiltered thoughts, the narrative often evolved to give me a deep insight that was missing prior to writing it out in story form. However, it is not necessary to share your private work to reap these benefits; it is a deeply personal process. Simply by connecting to your inner emotions and letting the story flow forth fosters that deeper connection to your true self, bringing insights and emotional catharsis.

3. Connecting with the stillness and beauty of nature. When I am feeling lost and my emotions are out of control, I like to walk outside and connect to the beauty all around me. I am not always able to meditate but I feel this serves a similar purpose in clearing my mind and allowing the quiet beauty of the present moment to enter my very being. It allows me to feel gratitude for all the natural abundance that surrounds me on a daily basis that is so simple and pure – grounding me in the present.

4. Embracing an extended support group. I had an abundance of community to help me feel supported. Having group support is ideal since multiple points of view are so very helpful and no one person is tasked with this difficult role. I have a wide network of support from friends, other grieving parents, spiritual teachers who continue to show up when needed plus social media writers and photographers. I realise what a gift it is to have an extended support group since many do not. If you do not have access to this type of support, there are some wonderful bereavement/help centres and groups which may offer a similar feeling of connection and support.

5. Purpose – focus your emotional energy on something you feel strongly about where you can positively affect change. Find purpose deep within your soul – what is it that you lacked in the grieving/trauma process which you feel would have eased your suffering? What does your heart ache for? Acknowledge the very real pain you have suffered. Allow it to move through your body each time it rises up; face it head on with love and compassion. Practice shifting your focus to being part of the solution as opposed to blame and judgement. This approach gradually fosters hope and renewal. In my case, I found a purpose and passion in advocating for childhood cancer awareness, grief support and writing about connecting with spirit to help others who may be feeling the desperate ache of grief and disconnection. This has since evolved to encompass the services of Reiki+SR. When we suppress our soul’s pain, it creates a dissonance, an interruption of our true connection to our higher self and the divine source itself. Focusing on what was wrong and who was to blame blocks channels of divine guidance. When we focus on the solution as opposed to the problem, we align ourselves to a higher vibrational frequency which allows us to recognize and connect more easily with the magic of our divine essence.

6. Find a spiritual practice or connection. Experiment with different approaches to see what fills your empty spaces. For example, you may find Reiki, yoga, meditating or connecting with nature to be helpful. The list of possibilities is endless. Some helpful practices might include painting, music, meditation, energy healing, angel therapy, practices from various religions, aromatherapy, acupuncture, bio-field tuning etc. In my case, I explored quite a few and took something away from each; I’ve always been a voracious reader and dedicated student.

7. Finding laughter in the chaos. Noah taught me this lesson again and again. In the face of trauma and stress, he would often crack a sarcastic joke which broke the tension with laughter and release us from the grip of fear. Laughter in the most unlikely places is a powerful tool to help ease tension from our bodies and an effective means to release pent up emotions in a very positive way. Humor is one of my most treasured ways to honor my son.

8. Open to forgiveness. Without forgiveness, we are closed off to our full potential in life. Our heart is heavy and unable to open fully to ourselves and others. Forgiveness is essential for all spiritual growth and connecting to our true essence. Why should we forgive? In “The Book of Forgiving” by Desmond & Mpho Tutu, the following reasons are cited:

• Forgiveness is beneficial to our health.

• Forgiveness offers freedom from the past, from a perpetrator, from future victimization.

• Forgiveness heals families and communities.

• We forgive so we don’t suffer, physically or mentally, the corrosive effects of holding onto anger and resentment.

• We are all interconnected and have a shared humanity.

• Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves.

If you are feeling in need of support and community, I invite you to reach out to someone who feels safe.  This may be a friend, a trusted family member, a help group or a mental health practitioner. It might even be a Reiki practitioner like myself if you are wishing to explore your own spiritual connection and inner essence.

Whatever resonates, just know, "You are not alone."